Life is a roller coaster, for some people more bumps than happy times.

I’m someone who can handle a lot of things and I’m not someone who really shows when something is wrong. Maybe I will eat a little less but other people won’t notice that. I’m most of the times a closed book and only a few get to know how I really feel.

The past few months I’ve been tested and tested and tested. Tested in ways I didn’t expect. 2014 didn’t start good at all, because of the death of my cat. I got the news that my research project wouldn’t be extended. Not too long ago my heart was broken into million pieces without a proper explanation and without any respect. And now… my grandfather-godfather is dying. The man who I respect and love the most is going to die. There is no more hope for him to get better. He is irreplaceable. And makes my other ‘down kicks’ almost unimportant.

Life is a roller coaster. You can either scream every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy it.

The reason I’m telling you this is because life isn’t always ‘good’ and it doesn’t always give you the feeling to be happy and to appreciate everything you have. Sometimes you just want to give up, walk away from it all and cry. I know how that feels, it’s human! In a way I do believe that you will get stronger by the challenges you get thrown in your way, but when everything happens at the same time it is a bitter pill to swallow. And then you start to wonder what you did wrong, but I don’t think it’s about what you could have done wrong but how you will react to it. No one deserves to lose someone you love. No one deserves to be treated disrespectful, no one deserves to be alone.

I’m surrounded by an amazing family and wonderful friends! I will get there in the end, we will get there. And as Arizona Robbins on Grey’s Anatomy once said ‘I’m gonna make plans for tomorrow’ even though it will be hard. Well, I’m gonna try!

“And I’m going to make plans for tomorrow. Because that’s what you do, Karev, you make plans. You have to. You turn your back on the tiny coffins and you face forward, until the next kid.” – Arizona Robbins

Life is short